6. LESS USE OF USHERS 

Sorry cousins, but I’m not seeing ushers as a formal part of the wedding ceremony anymore. This means less tuxes being rented, but it also means less bottlenecking as people arrive to be seated for the ceremony.  

But one of the traditional aspects that is lost is that ushers helped emphasize the special, dare I say, royal aspect of the wedding ceremony; that this ceremony is something special, significant, and honorable. But… who needs formality by putting two awkward guys in an important position that they aren’t used to… just let people seat themselves; it keeps the ladies having to awkwardly lock arms with a guy who doesn’t know what he’s doing.  

But times change and this is just a change I’ve noticed.  

7. MORE OUTSIDE WEDDINGS 

I get it. God’s creation is awesome and beautiful. The problem is the unpredictability of the weather. I’ve never done an outside wedding that went as smoothly as an inside wedding. Rain, wind, heat, sun… so, so, so many factors. Now, I live in West Michigan where we get the full extreme of all four seasons. Maybe you live in an area where the weather is more reliable… but here… not so much.  

One wedding it was so blasted hot with no wind, there was just a sense people wanted to the ceremony to ‘hurry up,’ and I felt bad for the couple as their special day was something people wanted to ‘just get through.’ Another time it was so windy, the bride’s hair kept flying in her face. I’ve had two weddings get rained out and have to moved inside. In a church, you don’t deal with any of that. Some of the old buildings may not have air conditioning, but the reasons to go inside far outweigh the outside… again, at least where I live. 

But times change and this is just a change I’ve noticed.  

8. THE PROPOSAL IS NO LONGER A SURPRISE 

Granted, this isn’t part of the ceremony, but this is a change I’ve seen. Less and less do I see boyfriends “pop the question” in a perfectly planned, but unexpected way. These days, the couples often plan – not just the wedding date – but the engagement date. It’s a special and planned day where the soon-to-be-fiancé spends the day getting ready with the girls, and the other soon-to-be-fiancé does the same with the guys. Then, it all culminates in a dinner with friends and family, followed by the boyfriend getting down on his knee… in front of everyone, to see his girlfriend to become his fiancé.  I do value the fact that the family is involved to bless this special moment as it’s happening.

What is also nice is that it gives the special gal time to get prepared… verses when I proposed to my wife outside in a dried corn field at the end of a dreary fall day as she was wearing one of my old baggy sweatshirts… still, we wouldn’t trade it for anything.  

But times change and this is just a change I’ve noticed.

9. MARRIAGE LICENSE LANGUAGE 

With the legalizing of gay marriage in 2015, marriage license’s no longer say “Bride” and “Groom” but now just have space for each “Spouse” to sign their signatures.  

This is not a polemic against gay marriage but changing bride/groom to the generic “spouse” further adds to the loss of traditional (and I’d say special) aspects of the wedding ceremony.

But times change and this is just a change I’ve noticed.

This leads to the last change I’ll note in this series…  

10. SHORTER CEREMONIES 

It seems the ceremonies I’ve been performing are around only 20 minutes. Most couple’s these days opt for no corporate singing, or special music of any sort, and they ask to minimize any non-essential elements in favor of a briefer service.  

Add to that, most couples chose to remove the “declaration of intent.” This is that old part when the Reverend says, “Do you take this man/woman to be your lawfully wedding husband/wife,” and they respond with the iconic, “I do.” Most couples see this redundant in light of reciting their vows to each other.

Removing songs/singing and aspects like the ‘declaration of intent’ with no meaningful replacements results in simply shorter ceremonies. I have yet to perform a wedding where the couple doesn’t express in some form or fashion that they want to ‘keep the ceremony short.’

But times change and this is just a change I’ve noticed.

IN SUMMARY 

In many ways, wedding ceremonies are being modernized. No one talks about “Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue” or the “penny in your shoe” anymore. In fact, most young couples have never heard those things.  

The formal and royal aspects of the wedding ceremonies are being tampered with these days. In the weddings I’ve been doing, no one is renting tuxes, and more and more I’ve been given permission to (if not outright asked) just to wear my cowboy boots.  

Not all change is bad. Not all change is good. But… just trying to be trendy is rarely something we look back on as a good decision.  

No wedding tradition is written in stone and in the end, I tell couples to make their ceremony a time to honor God as they make it their own. My wife and I did, we played Weezer at the end of our ceremony and I’m sure my great-grand-dad rolled over in his grave.  

But with each wedding, I am honored to be part of one of the most profoundly life-alternating days of their lives. While I’ve taken time to note some changes I’ve seen, the truth is, I’m less concerned with forgoing tradition, and more interested in helping couples to honor each other and the life-long commitment they are making.  

Who knows what the next 10 years of changes to wedding ceremonies will bring?