In all honesty, I wasn’t worried about him running my day. I was worried about him ruining her day. The day was to be all about her, my bride. Right?

This was the day that all little girls look to. It was the day she got dressed up like never before, wearing a dress she’ll never wear again. The makeup, the hairstyle, the nails, the planning, the excitement, it was the day she was to wear white…and she was to be the only one wearing that dazzling white so that in a spotlight glow everyone knew it was her day, so that all eyes would be on her. I wanted her to have that…and I didn’t want anything to get in the way of it. Nothing.

So when the time came to announce the big day and we went about ensuring we passed out those ever-important save-the-date cards, we gave them to friends, family, and certain co-workers. We were intentional about to whom we gave them…and to whom we didn’t.

I worked with this guy. He was given a low-paying, grunt work job. Let’s be straight: he had the job so the company could feel good about hiring him. He was given a job that kept him mostly “in the back.” Truth is, he didn’t do much work – he spent more time talking to people. People, in an attempt to maintain good form, mostly tolerated the awkward conversation and uncomfortable social interactions. We liked him in our lives because he made us feel like good people when we talked to him…but we also liked that we only saw him at work.

My wedding date soon became public knowledge. It also became apparent who got the invite – and who didn’t. People know that not everyone gets invited. Some co-workers are just acquaintances and really don’t want to give up their Saturday for someone they just work with. It’s cool. We know it.

And so when he approached me about coming to my wedding, I did what any bride-honoring man would do: I lied. I lied and made up an excuse. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. When he asked me about it again the following week, I lied again. And I lied and made up excuses when he called me at home; then I lied some more and again the week after that and eventually…I just started avoiding him.

He didn’t get an invite and he didn’t come to the wedding. How could I have let him come? Surely he probably would have made a scene, stolen the attention from my wife, we would have had to distract our attention away form each other and onto him, or I’d have to designate a friend to entertain him and that would have been, well…anyway, he didn’t get an invite.

The day was as beautiful as my bride. There were no glitches, mishaps, …or distracting people. It was all about her, as it should have been. Right?

…and that’s why I didn’t invite Jesus to my wedding.

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Matthew 25:45, “‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.'”

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BiblicalFriendship_GG_Questions

Last night I did a teaching for our high school students at PEACE CHURCH on Biblical Friendship using 1 Samuel 19:1 – 7 where Jonathan defends David. I took it verse-by-verse highlight what biblical friendship should look, act, feel, and be like. I also asked the question if there is anyone who is the perfect friend.

Here is the downloadable outline with fill-ins: BiblicalFriendship

And here is the downloadable outline for discussion questions: BiblicalFriendship_GG_Questions

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BIBLICAL FRIENDSHIP
The friend we all need to be…the friend we all need

1 SAMUEL 19:1 – 7 (English Standard Version), And Saul spoke to Jonathan his son and to all his servants, that they should kill David. But Jonathan, Saul’s son, delighted much in David. ² And Jonathan told David, “Saul my father seeks to kill you. Therefore be on your guard in the morning. Stay in a secret place and hide yourself. ³ And I will go out and stand beside my father in the field where you are, and I will speak to my father about you. And if I learn anything I will tell you.” ⁴ And Jonathan spoke well of David to Saul his father and said to him, “Let not the king sin against his servant David, because he has not sinned against you, and because his deeds have brought good to you. ⁵ For he took his life in his hand and he struck down the Philistine, and the Lord worked a great salvation for all Israel. You saw it, and rejoiced. Why then will you sin against innocent blood by killing David without cause?” ⁶ And Saul listened to the voice of Jonathan. Saul swore, “As the Lord lives, he shall not be put to death.” ⁷ And Jonathan called David, and Jonathan reported to him all these things. And Jonathan brought David to Saul, and he was in his presence as before.

1 SAMUEL 19:1 Jonathan delighted much in David

• A FRIEND REJOICES IN YOU

1 SAMUEL 19:2 Jonathan told David, “Be on your guard…”

• A FRIEND ALWAYS  PROTECTS YOU

1 SAMUEL 19:3 Jonathan said, “I will speak to my father about you”

• A FRIEND ADVOCATES FOR YOU

1 SAMUEL 19:4 Jonathan spoke well of David

• A FRIEND SPEAKS ABOUT YOU (and you can trust it’s not gossip!)

1 SAMUEL 19:5 Jonathan said, “For he took his life in his hand…”

• A FRIEND TESTIFIES  CONCERNING YOU

1 SAMUEL 19:6 Saul swore, “…he shall not be put to death”

• A FRIEND WILL SAVE YOU

1 SAMUEL 19:7 And Jonathan brought David to Saul

• A FRIEND STANDS  ALONGSIDE YOU

#TRUEFRIENDSHIP | JOHN 15:12 – 17

ONLY JESUS FULFILLS TRUE FRIENDSHIP PERFECTLY!

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I hope this helps you, or you can use this in some way. Let me know if you do. Again, here is the downloadable outline with fill-ins: BiblicalFriendship

And here is the downloadable outline for discussion questions: BiblicalFriendship_GG_Questions

So…I am a pastor. I’m the Pastor of Family Discipleship at Peace Church. In our day in age, associating with the Church and with Christians can come with some baggage for some folks. With that, let me just say upfront that I love my fellow Christians and the local church. Keeping that in mind and with knowing our current cultural climate, sometimes when I meet someone new, like in a waiting room, I try to get them to understand what I do in non-conventional ways. Here’s a snapshot of how it goes some of the time….

PERSON: So, what do you do?

ME: I work for a non-profit.

PERSON: That’s awesome! Tell me about it.

ME: Well, we seek to bring truth, grace, and reconciliation to our community and region, and by extension – our world.

PERSON: Wow, how do you do that?

ME: Through all sorts of ways, but we mainly try to do this through truth in love. We have weekly weekend gatherings, open to all the community, where there is live music and worldview teaching rooted in eternal truths designed to impact people today. Oh, and there’s free coffee [Que smiles]. We also have programming throughout the week for children and adults to help build the family. There are coordinated times for people and families to serve our community and region through work projects for families with need or visiting retirement homes, and other sorts of things like that. We have a ton of fun. There’s also classes we offer that people can take on anything from marriage, to family life, to finances, to historical studies. We’re ever learning how to better serve our community, but I’m pretty excited about what’s happening.

PERSON: This sounds pretty amazing…is there a cost?

ME: We don’t charge anything. We take offerings and donations to cover facilities, materials, and staff. It’s amazing because ends are always met.

PERSON: I have to say – I think this sounds like an awesome thing you get to do. Where exactly do you work?

ME: I work for a church called Peace and for this guy named Jesus. Hey, come be my guest this Sunday and check it out for yourself.

For the Christians out there running amuck on social media with less-than-helpful memes, poor theological statements, and not-so-Christlike social engagement, I thought I’d share my “Proverbs to Post By.”

That is, my filter for thinking through what I personally decide to post…or not.

This lesson comes by way of a lot of bad posts where I’ve hurt people and also made myself to look like a total moron…and I’m a pastor. So…yeah.

1. Proverbs 29:11, “A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back.”

Question for you: Is it a benefit to society that social media provides such an easy chance to let the world know what we think?

This proverbs lets us know that maybe the best thing isn’t to let the world know ‘just exactly what we think.’ Let the political-jabbing post pass and maybe don’t retweet that polarizing thought.

Yes, let’s have a healthy exchange of ideas. But that is not an excuse for us to unload on people…even through social media. If you’d feel just as good about posting that same thought 24 hours from now…then wait 24 hours and see. I bet you might feel differently. This sort of space gives the wise person time to process if the thought is truly helpful or articulated in a gracious way.

2. Proverbs 29:20, “Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him.”

It’s been often noted that part of the problem with social media is our ability to respond, react, or (sometimes worse) repost immediatly a thought to an event, statement, or any other such world event.

Immediately and hasty are not the same word, but they are connected and that is important to remember. Haste connotates brevity and lack of judgement. Funny…maybe time allows for better judgment.

Either way, this proverbs reminds us that knee-jerk reactions aren’t a fountain of hope for us. Our words need to be a source of grace to all who hear (Ephesians 4:29). Let us not be hasty in posting our opinions, but let us be gracious is our distribution of words.

3. Proverbs 26:20, “For lack of wood the fire goes out, and where there is no whisperer, quarreling ceases.”

This is a great proverb. Not only is the imagery spot on, but the lesson applies to so many different contexts. Here’s the big idea: Our words are often just wood for the fire of gossip. Our posts are often just wood for the fire social media.

When an fire starts on social media you can douse that fire with the water of grace in our words or with the wisdom of silence.

4. Proverbs 26:27, “Whoever digs a pit will fall into it, and a stone will come back on him who starts it rolling.”

I know you know what this means. You post something dumb and it’ll either implode on you or come back to haunt you. Don’t be that person. Nobody’s hearts and minds are changed for the better by social media posts – and even if there are a few examples, I could point to hundreds more of the opposite.

Let me summarize it all like this….

• When it comes to social media, we as people over react or react too quickly and we underestimate the impact of our words. Proceed with wisdom and caution.
• Don’t take the bait. Exchange ideas in a gracious manner, but don’t debate on social media. It takes too much time, causes too much hurt, and results in no real good (or at least not enough to make it worth it time and time again). Rather, spend time with people outside your perspective.
• Lastly, and this is what I’m trying to say: Think before you post – and wait before you react. You’ll be surprised at what harm is avoided and good will come with a little bit of patience and grace.

My brothers and sisters in Christ, if we simply get into the same old bickering matches online, why would this lead anyone to believe we have something better to offer?

Please, stop jumping into the mud of social media and fighting about who is the most dirty. It’s not befitting of you as a child of God, nor does it adorn the Gospel.

Be set apart (the meaning of ‘holy’) as you were called and meant to be.

Rather than pointing fingers (that is, passive aggressively posting memes, snarky cartoons, retweets, etc. to cast blame), point to something better; a better promise to trust, a better hope to live by, a better reason to love others.

“For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.” John 3:17

Chew on this. Later I’ll write out my social media rules for Christians to post by…